what the fuck are you doing?

so i dropped off his stuff earlier today.
we meet at bona, we sat and talked for alittle bitt. mostly about him, his last few weeks.. i really didnt know what to say.. (he is the best small talker ive ever meet, but somehow i dont think he realizes that small talk doesnt always help the situation.) but somewhere in the chatting we started to flirt, in the slightest way.. and somehow i was holding his hand..
im not ballsy at all, i dont make moves unless i feel confortable. idk why the fuck i felt confortable. cause im not. at all. like, trust me.
and well..he said he wanted to show me something.. so i followed him to his car to see his hookah.. we hugged and held each other for a sec (and agian with the ballsiness, im turning male or something) and i kissed his neck.. and then we kissed. when our lips meet agian, it was like a first kiss.
and we kissed and kissed and held each other.
i just dont know what it means for us..
because he tried to explain what he was feeling.. but he couldnt.. because he doesnt know what he wants..
he says he misses me, he misses us. but he doesnt want to go out again.
for now..
but i dont know how long 'for now' is
he might call me tonight if he can, but either way im seeing him on Wednesday.
(maybe).
(if he still wants to and can)
(im expecting him to change his mind so dont worry)

Remember we used to dance and everyone wanted to be you and me? I want to be too